If you’re new to BDSM you might have heard the term headspace or one of its variations such as sub space, puppy space, drop and other such terms. What does this mean? Head space is generally considered to be an altered state of consciousness within BDSM play that is used to ‘lose yourself’ in a scene. It is described as a state of mind whereby the body’s endorphins, enkephalins and adrenaline take over the mind and produce a morphine like effect. It’s what takes over our mind when we engage in risky sexual practices such as urethral sounding. To the ordinary person, putting something down your urethra might sound outlandish, painful and crazy, and to a certain extent it is. But by altering the mind and approaching things slightly differently an individual can come to terms about doing things which might seem outlandish and outrageous. They use their hormones and arousal to reframe their state of mind into participating into a sexual activity that they may or may not have been into beforehand.
It varies between individuals, but head space is a period whereby there is an altered state of reality. Headspace is a period whereby the individual enters an altered psychological state that manifests itself into physical and emotional actions, images, feelings and thoughts that have been brought on by a dramatic increase in adrenaline and endorphin that will occur during a scene. It’s hard to explain without sounding odd – but let’s try.
When engaging in BDSM play it is referred to as a scene. In a scene there is generally some form of role play being done – generally whereby one participant is subjected to one activity while the other one maintains control of the activity. Take for example one of the most relatable forms of BDSM as a power exchange within a dominant and submissive relationship. The dominant is the one in control of the situation, whereas the submissive is the one that carries out, or is subjected to the control the dominant. In order to do this the participants need to let go who they are and become a character of sorts. They might not normally be submissive or dominant outside of that room, but within that room and within that ‘scene’ they become something else. To reinforce that they might employ the use of BDSM aesthetics, by that it is meant BDSM toys and tools will generally have a certain look. Consider the attire of a dominant, if he/she walks in in casual clothes, ripped jeans, wearing thongs then that projects a completely different aesthetic than what it would if they walked into a room in a leather hood, with black gloves, black boots and handcuffs swaying from their fingers. Essentially, the purpose of a scene is to lose yourself within the scene. Some activities might involve pushing your body to the extreme, inflating dildos and anal stretching is one such example. By not being in a state of arousal, or preparing your mind and body for the activity at hand, you’ll find that you’re not able to enjoy it in the same way and might otherwise find it very difficult to continue.
It is a form of acting in a way whereby you’re letting go of who you are, role playing in a scene if you will. Once you have let go of who you are, and you’re focused on the scene you are said to be within a form of headspace.
Head space is more often commonly associated with the submissive, but there is evidence to suggest that dominants also experience an altered state of consciousness as well. We’ll start by exploring the idea of Sub-Space before moving on to Dom-space.